In the quiet times

In the quiet times I hear you.

I feel you comforting my broken heart.

When I am quiet…still…. you speak.

In the quiet times I feel deep.

My pain is deep. Sometimes too deep. 

In the quiet times you remind me you are all ok. I know.

In the car, I hear you. I know you are there. 

As the tears pour down my face, sometimes burning with heat, I hear you say “It’s ok, let it out.”

Then I am quiet.

In the quiet times my mind replays the trauma.

I tap my forehead to try and forget those calls. So many calls. So much loss.

In the quiet times I sometimes sit in it. I let the grief wash over me. Sometimes I run away. 

I know both are ok.

In the quiet times I laugh. The funny memories that will live on and the next minute I cry.

Grief is a rollercoaster in the midst of a tornado. It throws you around as you dodge the debris.Then just like that, it is calm. 

In the quiet times I smile, I cry, I weep, I laugh, I break, I rise, I breathe.