Thank you mom

There are so many things to thank you for. I really cannot even begin to articulate, let alone put into words.

I thank you for coming to me in my dream last night. We talked, but mostly you talked. As the saying in the UK goes, ‘She can talk for England.’ So it made sense that you talked. But I listened. You confirmed to me that what I sense is true. That you are with dad but you are always with me. You are with all of us. I will do my best to take comfort in this.

But for now, I am not happy. I feel robbed, cheated, as if this is just cruelty. For which I will not apologize. Will I work through this? Probably. But in my own time and my own way.

I know you sit with me as I weep. I know you were there the moment I heard the words that you had passed away. I know you picked me up off the floor. I know you tell me how strong I am. I do not feel strong. I feel weak and broken. I hear you say, ‘It is ok to be sad. It is ok to feel how you feel. Do not try and be strong for anyone. You have what it takes to keep going. You have what it takes to keep our legacy alive through you. You all will have to deal with a lot of tasks but do not forget to laugh, do not forget to love. LOOK UP LISA! Notice the beauty around you. Do not take anything for granted. Most of all, BE GRATEFUL. Live a life of gratitude. “

I am trying mom. I really am.

We are all in shock, we are all heartbroken. We will never be the same. Lewis and I are sick of writing Eulogies. We quit!

UK Mothers Day 2019

I know we are connected. I know you are here. But it is not the same. As the granddaughters have said, ‘I miss her laugh.’

The thought of walking into my childhood home, which is a shrine to the life my parents created, will be soul crushing. It will be the hardest thing I will ever do, to date.

You and dad need to keep visiting me in my dreams. I know you are here. No matter what people believe, I know you are. I sense it. I see it. I feel it. It is true.

I will write more but it will be saved for your eulogy. The day I once again get up in front of those whom you loved beyond measure and those who love you beyond all time and space, and share some memories, some tears, and some laughter. But mostly honor a woman who lived her life better than most.

I am grateful you are my mom. I have learned a lot.


5 thoughts on “Thank you mom”

  1. Lisa, you and your Mom, Sharing this conversation you’re having with her. There’s such love, power and honesty here. It is an honor. Thankful beyond words. I will be present on Nov 9 and that will be an honor too. Loving you with thoughts of comfort – raised prayers everyday.

  2. So beautifully said. You’re always going to be a living tribute to your mom, Lisa.
    Thank you for sharing your dream visit from my beloved friend and your mom. It gave me comfort just reading the words she gave to you. I love you, best daughter ever. Aunt Bonnie

  3. Dear Lisa

    For once in my life I am lost for words. The love of God shines out of all the photos I have seen of both your mum and dad. How blessed have you been.

    All I can do is to send love and hugs your way. I so looked forward to meeting you when the four of us met for lunch way back. Clint would often include mention of you during lecture times. You well lived up to the bill. Know that you are not alone. Love walks with you. Deepest sympathy, love and prayers.

Comments are closed.